I Did my T”I”me – By BoRn

Probably the next major depressive incident that I remember happening to me was when I was a freshman in high school.  Over the summer, my sister had been diagnosed with prediabetes.  We started to eat a much lower carbohydrate diet so as to reduce the amount of glucose, but still maintain energy levels, as recommended by our pediatrician.

As the year began to grow darker and gloomier, so did my emotions.  I was not sure what was going on inside me, so I continued to get worse for a couple months.  I am pretty logical, so the idea that my emotions were going haywire was foreign to me.

Eventually I broke down.  I spent a couple hours in tears, with my parents trying there damnedest to comfort me.  As a side note, if someone says it’s not right for a man to cry, do them a favor and bash their teeth in with a brick.  This kind of backwards-assed thinking causes so many problems for both men and women.  Fuck the double standard.

Fortunately enough, I was able to see a doctor the next day.  I told her everything I had felt.  I was prescribed dark chocolate.  Fucking.  Dark.  Chocolate.  People wish that was there prescription, and now that is what I was given.  And it worked, based on the fact I need more carbohydrates, and chocolate has mood boosting properties.  Somehow, all the happiness I had missed out on for months came flooding back over the next few days.

Later on, we had to do a project for a class in which we researched careers we might be interested in.  I had always liked human biology, and I liked cooking.  On a test, I found I scored high in the nutritionist/dietitian category.  I read the description, and thought to myself “damn, this shit is dope.”  To this day, I still think medical nutrition therapy is fucking awesome (despite the fact that I have yet to take the class).

After my recovery, I started to figure out who I was more.  I stopped trying to appeal to people, because most of them I interacted with were irrelevant assholes anyway.  I started to wear and do what I liked, instead of what other people thought were cool or hip.  My denim jacket I got from my grandfather became sort of a symbol of my liberation from societal expectations of me.  I started to become more punk, in the sense that I went against norms.  And I loved, and still love, going against the norms that make life shitty for everyone.

Moral of the story:  There is a silver lining for everything.  From the deep dark pits that was my own mind, I figured out who I was, and what my future was going to be, and nobody was going to take that from me.

Yet another stupid self promotion BS post

Boring not-very-fun-at-all fact:  I have a Twitter account and an LinkedIn profile!  My Twitter is @Nutrition_Punk, and my LinkedIn is Jarrett Knodel.  I do not do much with my LinkedIn account, but periodically I will update it with noteworthy things I have done.  My Twitter account is where I post general nutrition information (since I cannot legally give advice, and I sure as hell am not going to prescribe diets without a licence), as well as other articles that other food and nutrition people have posted.

The Long Hard Road Out of Hell – by Mar”I”lyn “ME”son

This is going to be a deviation from the nutrition stuff I normally post.  I am not going to use pictures, and I will try to keep it brief.  I will also try to be funny, because I know that depression is a… uhm… depressing issue.  More or less I am going to try to recount some of my bigger issues that happened during my depression spells that have come and gone over the years.  There are going to be a LOT of posts.  Abandon hope, ye who enter in.

I remember being diagnosed with depression when I was in fourth grade.  I was about ten at the time, when some asshole came up to me, and beat the shit out of my pathetic little child body.  That asshole is named “Puberty,” and can go fuck itself.  I am pretty sure that once my hormones went crazy, I did too.  I remember a lot of mood swings.  Like, A LOT.  How my parents put up with me, I have no idea.

I had problems of self-worth and I felt like I was hated in my class.  That’s the thing with depression, is that you do not think rationally.  I mean, granted I was some overly emotional fuckwad, but looking back nobody really hated me that I know of.  I was able to get out of school because I was not feeling well, so I guess that is a plus.  Eventually, I went to counselling, to workout whatever problems I had.  It seemed to help somewhat.  I wasn’t put on medication, but I was able to work out some familial issues, and see more of why I shouldn’t put so much of my self-worth on my classmate’s approval.  It seems that lesson also worked out pretty well in the long run, since I am a no-fucks-given asshole who listens to too much metal (like there is a thing as that), and is an academic powerhouse when compared to some of my peers in grade school.

Sorry THIS story is so brief, but give me SOME credit, I am remembering details from eleven years ago.  I mean, shit, I can hardly remember things that happened last week.  They should get more detailed, and probably longer, as time goes on.  And also more relevant to nutrition.  So for now, I guess this is more of a wellness promotion.

I guess the moral of the story here is society needs to stop being dumb with the connotation of mental health.  If you need assistance, ask for it.  If people ridicule you for it, then they are just assholes who need to get a life.  If your body is sick, you go to a doctor.  By that logic, if your mental state is sick, please, go to a psychological professional, like a therapist of psychologist or something.

My stupid dumb video

What happens when your nutrition class requires you to make a video?  This dumbass makes one, of course.  I might be stupid, but at least I do my fucking work.

Here is the link to my abomination of cinematic disasterpieces.

Mah stoopid vidyoh (opens in a new tab)

Detoxicity by Sipping Up and Down: A Look at Detox Diets

So, one time I was browsing “teh interwebz,” when I came across “detox diets.”  Giving a quick online search, I found that there were several outlets promoting detox diets.  So what the fuck even is a detox diet?  Essentially, the idea of the detox diet is to remove “toxins” from the body.  To do so, you must eat and drink certain foods for a set period of time (I saw one that was days, one that was weeks, and one that was ten days).  Among the foods being given up is caffeinated beverages, and alcohol.

The_Scream_PastelThe Scream by Edvard Munch, found on commons.wikimedia.org

Some other detox diets promote the use of enemas to clean your large intestine (enemas are some sort of cleaning thing for your asshole), drink nothing but fruit and vegetable smoothies or juices, or even buy supplements from companies.  To be perfectly honest, none of these sound very fun.  But, next comes the question of “do they work?”

There is not really any evidence finding that these diets even work.  So people are going through misery (I know for a fact I would hate everything in existence without my coffee and beer).  Functionally, your liver and kidneys are really good at removing toxins from your body.  Detoxing sounds to me like yet another fad diet that people fall for because of the promotion.  So why do people still do them?  Well, they might feel better because they are not eating refined sugars and fats, and eating more vegetables.

Some problems with detoxing is the fact that some limit the amount of protein you are eating, or causing vitamin and mineral deficiencies.  Some side effects of the colon cleansing (or, as I call it, butthole and large intestinal trauma) is cramping, bloating, nausea, and vomiting.  Sounds really fun now, doesn’t it?  Dehydration is also a concern, because the colon is where fluid absorption takes place.

So if you really want to have healthy “detox,” I would suggest that you eat a diet that is healthful to your liver and kidneys, with balanced lean proteins, and fruits and vegetables.  And limited (see limited, not eliminated) alcohol consumption.

So what do you guys think about detox diets?  Do you have any stories to share?

Please note that anything posted is NOT to be taken as medical advice, I am just some guy researching nutrition.




Kale ‘Em All by Mealtallica: 3 Reasons Why You Should Fucking Eat Kale

By this point, you probably know what kale is.  No, kale is not hipster food.  Kale is a cruciferous vegetable.  Stop being a jackass and trying to pronounce that (say Crew-Siff-Er-Us, good job, you are now hooked on phonics, and probably should go into rehab for that).  Other vegetables in this family include things like broccoli, and Brussel sprouts.  Stop gagging at the thought of Brussels sprouts, they are tasty when cooked right.  If you are still lost look at this picture.


Photo from commons.wikimedia.org

Kale is a bunch of healthy leaves.  Ooh, so scary, right?  Wait, what was I writing about?  I got too busy listening to music.  Oh yeah, three reasons to eat this shit…

  1. It’s high in vitamin K. Vitamin K is known as the “blood clotting” vitamin.  As in this vitamin helps keep you from bleeding out when you are cut.  Some research also suggests that vitamin K consumption helps keep your brain and bones healthy into old age, which means that eating these little green bastards could possibly keep you head banging with your grandchildren for a little longer.
  2. Kale is also rich in beta-carotene, the pre-vitamin form of vitamin A.  Vitamin A is one of those vitamins that does, like, a million things to benefit your body.  Vitamin A helps keep your vision working, especially at night.  However, it also has been found to help your organs, such as your heart, lungs, and kidneys function right.  In addition that, vitamin A can improve immune function.  But, most importantly, vitamin A helps out with reproduction.  Because who cares if your guts are falling apart when that organ is working at full capacity?


Image from commons.wikimedia.org

  1. Because more vitamins, kale is also a good source of vitamin C.  Vitamin C, like vitamin A, is one of those people in school or the office that like to do so much to make you look bad by comparison.  Vitamin C acts as one of those “antioxidants” people talk about so much.  Basically it helps to remove byproducts of living, and whatever environmental things you are exposed to, like UV radiation from the sun, or pollution. Vitamin C is also good for making collagen, which is used to help wound healing.  Vitamin C also helps the immune system, which is why people get some weird fetish with this vitamin during winter months.  Vitamin C also helps you absorb iron from plant-based sources.

Well, now you have been partially edumacated about kale, and why the band wagon is a good one to jump on.  I suggest that if you want to start eating some, put it in a salad.  It adds nice texture and flavor to the desecrated leaf corpse pile.

So what do you guys think?  How would YOU eat kale then?

Please note that anything posted here is NOT to be taken as medical advice, it’s just some guy researching food.